The Shadow
by blinkndie
Summary: Regina and Snow spent several years together in a quiet Castle, each suffering in their own way. Soon a time will come where they will have to turn to their pain into something different. This is how Snow came to the light and how the Queen became Evil.
1. Chapter 1

AN: No Copyright Infringement Intended.

Warning: This Story contains abuse.

She takes a deep breath inwards focusing deeply on her anger. But she feels the rage too acutely and with that comes an overwhelming feeling of pain. It takes over the fury that fuels the small flames that flicker on her finger tips and abruptly extinguishes them. The pain takes over and Regina cannot feel the frustration as she once again fails at magic. She solely clutches her hand together and doesn't fight the tears that fall from her eyes.

She is too hurt for magic.

There is no knock at her door, no introduction to the person passing the threshold. It is late and even though it does not surprise to Regina to find herself with company it increases the pain in her chest as fear is added to her mix of emotions.

"My king," She says coolly sensing the man's presence, not only through his sweaty stench but the darkness he brings along with him. The air becomes thick and lodges in Regina's throat. And somehow the turmoil she felt earlier seems like nothing compared to the dread that arises as her husband tosses himself on her bed.

He doesn't say anything, just watches her expectantly and she takes daring steps towards him. Inside her stomach is burning, her heart has fallen from is spot and is now thrashing about crashing into everything inside her. Regina is no stranger to the feeling but it still surprises her that she can take even steps towards her husband, untying her nightdress as she approaches.

She knows the steps she must take as if she was an actor reaching her mark. At the foot of the bed she drops her gown and she can hear the King's stomach growl and he begins to crawl closer to her.

There was a party in the great hall on this night. Regina made her obligatory appearance, but could never stand to be in the both the presence of her husband and her step daughter. She could only play the game of Queen for so long before she faltered.

She'd saved her energy for this encounter. Her brave face loomed over the King as climbs on top of him. His trousers were undone before he even entered her chambers. And there is a sense of relief inside of Regina only for a moment. Her husband was obviously eager. Regina tries not to outwardly cringe that she herself feels a pinch of excited that this might be over quickly.

She had learned that resistance only prolonged the experience, and so toyed with her husband. Her nudity seemed to be one of the simplest ways to drive the man forward. He seemed to relish in her bravery and Regina gave up her skin in order to save what was left of her inside. His hands are her makes it seem like a he is the one who could conjure magic. It burns and Regina's whimpers only drive the man forward as he explodes quickly, his old voice roaring throughout the chamber.

He pulls his wife closer to him, biting at her shoulders while laughing at his own pleasure. However, when her dark hair falls upon him he tosses her aside harshly. Her body jerks and she recoils on the opposite end of the bed. She doesn't have to play for his arousal anymore, so she curls around herself, bare and cold, and her cries come out as sobs instead of moans.

He lies there all night and leaves only when day breaks. And in the morning lying in bed Regina cannot eve summon a single spark of fire in her hand. She hurts too much.

8

The Queen just turned nineteen and the Princess will soon be fourteen. They have inhabited the same castle for four years yet have not spent a morsel of that time together. The Princess is kept with a busy schedule. She is tutored in academics for eight hours of every day excluding Sundays which are her holy day spent in her father's lap. Above that she is a given riding lessons, sewing lessons, singing lessons, etiquette lessons, cuisine lessons, dance lessons, track and field lessons, art lessons and on Sundays with her father, hunting lessons.

She had little time for her own interests, and while she is taught of all different matters of the world and kept in the company the most admired of instructors she feels like she knows nothing and no one. She feels a terrible void that mathematics and history cannot fill. The times when she is alone are the times she feels less lonely because her mind is free to wander. Without having her thoughts clouded by hitting all the right notes and taking the right steps, she is free to day dream.

The castle grounds are beautiful and the Princess Snow sits on the soft cool grass looking past the spring flowers and towards the Enchanted Forrest. She's ridden through it on several occasions and has always looked longingly at the woods. She imagines what it would be like to run through the trees, to be wild and improper. She wonders if it would be lonely to be in the woods. She wonders if it would be less lonely than being a Princess.

Since the loss of her mother, now four years ago, Snow has been plagued by these thoughts, only being relieved by them on very few occasions. She's a well tutored girl and was therefore intelligent enough to understand these moments, and in return yearn for them.

Snow's favourite spot in the garden had a wonderful view of the woods, but also a conspicuous view of the Queen's chamber. The Queen spends a lot of time on her balcony, and when the Princess is free she dashes to her spot in the grass for the likely chance to catch a glimpse of Regina.

She is beauty, and grace. She is intelligence, and nobility. She is everything Snow is trained to be and everything the King wishes his daughter could be. Snow admits to herself Regina is everything Snow wants, not just to be but to have. Again Snow wonders. She wonders if she will ever feel less lonely. She wonders if she will ever get what she really wants, Regina's company.

Standing pressed against the stone pillars that form her balcony, the Queen looks stunning in black. Her stony face shows turmoil inside her and Snow learns to read her. She can match up her sullen demeanor with the sobs she hears at night, and with her father's heavy footsteps walking passed her bedroom. The Queen's darkness has everything to do with it and Snow wishes she was stronger or older to save the Queen like the Queen had saved her.

8

This time Regina screams, her anger is next to nothing now and is nothing but desperation. There is blood between her thighs, and flowing onto her silk sheets. The king has been visiting her more often as she has grown more into a woman and as she becomes more and more fruitful. He left her bed in the early morning as he is accustomed to, obviously giving his wife not a second glance or he would have noticed scene she finds herself in now.

Bloodied and alone, her second child lost. She screams but no one comes. The flock of household staff are all busied pattering around the Princess. Regina knows this as fact. Still naked and weak she stumbles towards her chamber doors and gives the locks a hard turn. She falls on the floor letting her screams come as they please.

Soon, the servants hear it as it begins to ring throughout the castle. The screams are powerful enough that there is magic behind them. They emit through the stone walls and echo unendingly. They reach the Princess during a riding lesson far off the on the castle grounds. She rides hard and is at the locked door within minutes.

There are men there already trying to knock down the doors. The King is standing in last night's clothing with his hands pressed firmly on his ears as he calls out orders. He takes one look at Snow and softens, taking the protection away from his ears in order to escort her away from the painful wails. Snow is lulled the comfort of her father and is easily placated by his love. He takes her down and back outside where a carriage awaits to take her away from the noise.

But as soon as the Princess is not in her father's company the sound reaches her deeper than anything ever has. It isn't constant and it fails at times. And when it does horses calm and ride easier away from the cries. When they return they come stronger. Snow can feel herself crying because she is not a hero, she will never be. She cannot save Regina and she cannot save herself. For a moment their pains match.

Snow is not returned to the castle for hours. They ride around and the child is lead to the markets in hopes that the bright colours will sooth her. But her sadness doesn't leave her, even as she shows subjects a soft smile. She has been taught to always look joyful in the face of the people who have less. She is told by her instructors that her pain is nothing compared to the towns people and that she most put a brave face to them so that she may rule with the same empathy her mother once did.

It was something Snow strived to always be, like her mother. So she walked on, joking with the merchants, and running with the children. She won the hearts of all the townsfolk while hers shattered. And even as she could no longer hear the cries she could feel them. Snow was not brave even if her face was.

8

Upon returning to the castle, Snow is taken through the servant's entrance to avoid the grand hallways that lead to both the Queen's and King's chambers. Her curiosity is fueled by worry but she keeps her eyes down as she is taken to her room. She dreams of the screams that night. And in the nightmares Regina is hollow and limp. She leans forward on the balcony and falls fast forward down onto the grass that Snow rests on. The screams come from Snow as she rushes to the bloody mass that collided onto the ground. And when the young teenager reaches it, she doesn't find her raven haired step-mother lying dead but her own fair haired mother immobilized.

Shocked the cries come out again. She's heard these notes hit before. The screams play on like they did when she first found that her mother was gone. She knows it so well and feels the pain of it again. When a Shadow begins to tower over her Snow is unafraid. The Shadow is just part of the darkness that has been with her since the loss. The fear doesn't start building until the Shadow reaches out for her and pulls Snow away from the body she has been longing to be reunited with. It is fingers at her throat that attack her and tug her to her feet. Snow is crushed closely to the Shadow and it breathes in the air Snow so desperately tries to take in.

Snow cannot scream any longer but the sound still rings in the air. She is sure to die without a breath but is finally given relief through a kiss. The Shadow breathes life into her as if it wasn't what was killing her. And when it finally lets go the Shadow walks off and Snow doesn't keep her eyes of the form of a retreating woman dressed in black.

8


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning is a Sunday. Snow wakes in the darkness. The heavy drapes cover all her windows and it feels unusual to her to see the room covered in shadows. Even in her forlorn state Snow knows she would never draw the curtains. The girl cannot decipher if she had slept through the night or for only a moment, as her eyes adjust to the lack of light.

She leaves her room still in the nightgown she cannot remember changing into. Once in the hallway the sun illuminates the walls and the girl notes how high the sun sits in the sky. The halls are quiet, more so that she is used to.

In the dinning room, Snow expects to find her father sitting at the head of the table waiting patiently for her so that they could start their special day together. But the Princess is met with only cold silence.

"Father," she calls to the empty room. The trepidation starts, and the girl jumps into a full sprint around the house searching desperately for any sign of company. She feels terribly alone in the quiet. The only sounds that fill the castle are the heavy quick footsteps of a desperate girl.

"Father!" She calls out as she turns every corner, and enters every room. Down the steps is the nearest way out to the Gardens and though Snow usually avoids this exit, she is too afraid to recognize why. But as soon as she breaks through the doors, her call dies in her throat.

The Queen is sitting at the foot of an apple tree, gazing up at the plump red fruit that decorate the greens around it. Snow White stops her rushed steps abruptly. Suddenly remembering why she woke up feeling so distressed in the first place.

Regina.

Snow watches the Queen take a deep breath in, let her shoulders drop, her head hang low, and her eyes shut tightly. Regina sits still in this position, excluding the rise and fall of her chest and her fingers that idly caress a blood-red apple. Her skin is so pale it calls out for Snow to approach it, yet she stays firm in her spot. She is too afraid to approach the Queen and learn the truth of her current state. Snow knows she isn't the hero she needs to be to rescue her stepmother.

Yet, Snow doesn't need too many details of the truth to know the severity of it. It's been months since she was this close to the Queen, and the first time she has ever looked this defeated. Regina doesn't look as young as Snow remembers. When Snow closes her eyes and pictures the Queen she sees deep and kind brown eyes, and soft and slightly tinted skin with blushed cheeks. She sees the girl who held her close as she pulled her off a run away horse. The woman Snow sees before her now is broken. The sight cripples the Princess. She swiftly turns around and goes back into the castle alone.

Regina had felt Snow's presence. She'd dropped her head and counted up to six before she heard the girl retreat. And finally, she felt something different pain, a flicker of true anger. It's such a relief that the Queen relished in it and let herself be filled by it fully. She's finally angry and the magic that courses through her feels so good. Regina smiles to herself as the apple in her hands starts melting and dripping as blood through her fingertips.

8

Snow spends her Sunday alone. She sits in her spot in the grass next to a hard cover book she never opens. Even though her eyes do not fail to look towards her stepmother's chambers, she doesn't get another glimpse of Regina until the sun is going down. The woman she sees looking out towards the Enchanted Forrest is not the same one she saw that morning. She stands tall and confident. Although it is a relief to see the older woman with her signature posture, Snow is disappointed.

Whatever had happened throughout the day to spark this change in her was not Snow's doing. It hurt the girl to know she was such a coward. It explains her father's absence on the day reserved for just them. It was likely that the King had forgone his daughter's Sunday to save his second wife. Just when Snow allowed herself to think her father might be the villain, he turns out to be the hero Snow fails to be.

As Snow has gotten older, it has become unclear to her how she feels about her father. She adores King Leopold, and that has not faltered since she was a kid. The few months after her mother's passing and before the King remarried, the pair had grown together in their grief. But when Regina was introduced to the family the King's attention wavered. Their daily routine shattered and Snow found herself making friends with loneliness.

Snow had not let it affect her too negatively. Her mother had always said to seek out happiness where it hides. So the girl found joys in little things, like staying up late just to hear her father's foot steps retreated to his chambers, or taking her lunch in her father's study sitting quietly as to not disturb him. She was still close to her father even if she was just on the outside looking in.

The first time Snow heard the screams was only a few weeks after Regina moved into the Castle and for a long time the young child assumed that the poor Queen suffered from night tremors. But as she grew, she found that her father's footsteps didn't lead to his bedroom but stopped short at her stepmother's.

In all her story books that was normal, but the yells that followed were not. Even though she was a younger girl, Snow let her eyes open and they stayed open counting the times her father went back and forth and counted how many times she heard screams and how many time they were moans.

This wasn't how happy endings go, Snow mused. But none of her stories ever spoke of the second marriage. None of the characters lost their true love and had to marry again. None of them had their true love run away. When the stories ended all of Snow's questions started. She found herself as an unwritten character in an unwritten story.

As hard as she tried to be the hero, she couldn't write in her bravery. And quickly her father was failing at the job too. It seemed that her Prince was the woman who could be so wrecked hours ago, capable of crying out in so much pain, and yet able to look so regal and strong. Snow wishes she could float and be lifted high above the gardens and dropped at Regina's feet. She decides that if she cannot be the Prince than it is Regina's role to play. The only other hero Snow had known was dead.

8

Regina stirs in the night, ready to retire into her chamber, knowing that her episode the morning before will give her easily a few weeks of relief. She's stood at the edge of her balcony for longer than she usually does. Even though she feels weary, she lingers as she takes in the feeling of power that fills her.

Her magic is a sixth sense and it makes her more aware of the things around her. There are three people in the gardens. Regina picks out the grounds keepers out easily, and senses their location without even seeing them. It brings a smirk to her lips. One is sleeping on the job and the other is wrestling with a few tools that won't seem to fit in the shed.

The third presence she knows without even having to focus on it. Snow is out there, sitting down with a book near by even though she reads it not. The proximity is making Regina's eyes sharper as she hones in the emotion that has given her such power.

Anger.

One thought is all it takes. The girl's selfishness and her ability to look straight through Regina, it fuels the Queen's anger. The whole Castle is so adept at it. She is not the true Queen and is therefore of little importance to the King, the household staff, the land's subjects and even Snow White.

When her doors were broken down the Queen was knocked with the butt of a sword. The blow came to the back of her head and clouded her in darkness. She awoke in the middle of the night lying in her bed, still naked and although she was wrapped up in clean linen with the blood between her thighs barely wiped off.

The sounds of tormented sobs roused the Queen and she dressed quickly to address them. Once in the hallways she saw a frenzy of people catering to the crying Princess. All for a nightmare. That scene made the Queen more powerful than she had ever been. Snow receiving careful touches from her husband, it was enough to drive the Queen into magic.

The eyes that cried then are on Regina now. Her magic feels it. It flows through her body and jumps out of her as if wanting to chase after the girl. It points at her direction, and calls for her to get closer to the young woman.

Regina answers the calls and turns her face to Snow's direction. And even though the girl is well tucked behind a hedge, Regina is able to find those eyes and meet with them. They open wide, started but do not look away. Regina's lip curls and Snow's smile turns up sweetly and eagerly.

The Queen can feel the magic in her react as it ignites inside her fervently. The Princess Snow White was Regina's source of magic. And if she felt this powerful with just anger, the Queen wondered how much stronger it could get with hatred.


	3. Chapter 3

Snow White slept soundly the nights that followed. There had been a shift in the castle. She could not even begin to imagine what had brought on this change. It was refreshing, like the state of wilderness after a thundering storm. Each bolt of lightning that had beat her the day her Stepmother cried out seemed to have burned out the things that struck Snow down in despair.

Snow found it silly that all it took was a look. One little acknowledgement, and the loneliness that haunted the Princess found itself dwindling. The looks continued throughout the days. After years of feeling invisible to Regina, Snow suddenly had her attention. In those moments, she felt her face flush and her heart palpitate. It made her feel shy and foolish and it exhilarated her too. She was being saved.

The Princess obsessed with these little interactions. Even amongst her instructors or with the servants, Snow always sought out Regina. It was not a new habit she had acquired, Snow had done so even when she was younger. The girl had been made promises. Her father had sat her down and explained that Regina was so be her new mother.

King Leopold had been very worried about Snow's reaction to his announced engagement. But the girl quickly reassured him. Snow knew her heart. Her mother was always the voice inside her head telling her to _be sweeter, be kinder, and be better_. Snow could not replace her conscious and therefore Snow could not replace her mother. What Snow had wanted was someone to replace the hole in her heart that was left in her passing. So there was no tantrum when Snow's kingdom gained a new Queen.

Snow had not gotten what she wished for. But still she had that voice in her head. _Have optimism, have perseverance, and have hope. _With her mother's words repeating, Snow would always search for Regina when she entered a room, or was in a group a people. Even after years of coming up empty handed, of never knowing where Regina was or what she got up to, Snow kept searching.

Now, when Snow looks Regina is there, far off, always lingering, but there. It makes Snow feel stronger but also act sheepish. She tries to hold the stare but still cannot. Something about the straight face that watches her gives the Princess goose bumps on the back of her neck and make her hands sweat.

At night, Snow's last thoughts before she drifts into rest of are the eyes that have been watching her. They are full of emotion but one that Snow knows nothing about. The Queen's eyes turn gradually from brown to black when they meet Snow's. It's when they get their darkest that the Princess can no longer hold the contact. Snow disappoints herself every time she cannot look into the eyes when they become as dark as shadow.

It frightens and exhilarates the young girl. It drives her insane to feel the elation and have it taken as soon as her eyes drops. It drives her mad to be always in waiting for the next moment that they share such a simple interaction. During those breaks in time Snow tries to grown stronger to by chance keep her eyes on Regina a fair bit longer, to look past all the dark shadows behind her eyes and maybe finally meet Regina. If she was not such a coward maybe they would go beyond eye contact and actually touch. It is difficult for Snow to focus on her studies when her mind has been transfixed on the Queen. It goes noticed by all her instructors.

The Princess' folklore and history teacher is a young scholarly man, never in his years educating the girl has he seen her so unresponsive to her lessons. The girl always came to his classes in a hurry, like if she was running away from everything else and into her escape. Count Oliver, Snow's favourite instructor, and she openly told him at the start and end of each of his classes.

They only met once a week, the subject not being as pressing to a girl in Court. The classes it self was one Snow had moved to be taught as it had never been part of her curriculum. Her lesson was one of the only things Snow used to look forward to; it was the pause button to her sadness.

To Oliver, Snow was an all around happy Princess. She never struck him as lonely or melancholy. She was eager and when she showed her enthusiasm by reading a loud in a sing-song voice, and could never sit still as she read scriptures and text. Oliver adored her as much as she adored her classes. He is only a few years her senior and all the years of constant study had paid off by buying him this position.

He sits close to her as Snow stares blankly at the page before her. Oliver looks at her brow as it wrinkles in thought. He has seen that face many times before as she processes a new idea and embraces the new information. Until recently, he enjoyed seeing that look on her face. She had always engaged him in her thoughts, had let her mouth run wild, rambling about the different possibilities and the different ways to interpret facts and tales. However, she is now stoic, lost in her own thoughts. Oliver did not see the exuberant girl he had come to know.

"Are you troubled, dear Snow?" He asks, finally voicing his thoughts as he leans closer to the girl. The sound breaks the silence causing the Princess to jump.

"No," Snow whispers as she discerns the proximity they share. Alone in the library, both the Princess and her Instructor do not move to correct their distance from one another. Snow keeps her eyes on the page before her, feeling any contact would violate the precious connection she has been hoping to nurture with her stepmother. While Oliver holds his position hoping to affect a reaction from the shell of a Princess he once know.

"Truly?" He probes. Oliver reaches out, his fingers pushing up at Snow's chin. She moves with him, lifting her head but not her eyes. Snow feels a tension she does not recognize grow inside her. She cannot remember any one other than her father touching her in ages. Oliver's skin on hers, Snow wondered how many years had passed since she'd felt the skin of another person.

"No." She responds firmly. Neither knows if she was saying so to his question or his touch. But before Oliver can do anything more, the large oak doors swing open. The steps that enter play a song that Snow White knows all the notes too. Her eyes leave the words that had refused to turn into passages to her during her studies and follow the clipping of her stepmother's heels. And when her eyes meet Regina's, her stepmother's are already covered in shadows. And as much as Snow had willed herself earlier, she fails. The darkness is too much to bear. She looks away.

"Your Highness," Oliver says as he stumbles to his feet and down into a bow. Regina does not stop her steps and walks past the pair. She settles at a bookshelf and plucks out a book and without a word, takes a seat sitting by the windowsill.

Snow watches carefully, catching the Queen's eyes quickly, as Regina lifts them from the page she just turned too. The tension the Princess had felt only seconds earlier multiplies traveling to all ends of her body. She feels as if a light has been light and it's rays where bouncing endlessly into everything inside of her, crashing into the underside of her skin and jumping between her nerves. Each time the light collides with something within her, it gives her a shock. It brews something hot and chaotic within her and Snow struggles to repress the blush she feels creeping up her cheeks.

"Shall we continue?" Oliver asks pulling his chair to the opposite side of the table. The Queen's eyes are burning both the student and the teacher. Oliver's tension is a different battle one is knows he cannot win. Yet looking over at the flushed girl he cannot help but to start feeling victorious. The last of their hour shared together is filled with Oliver's voice reading to his distracted pupil. There is a smile in each other he reads. He had only hoped that Snow's recent distant attitude had to do with confusing feelings towards her instructor. This was now easily the greatest day of his life.

8

The Queen is seething as she paces in her bedchamber. Yet, what feels like indestructible anger fades as quickly as water poured onto a candle, without even a spark. The King crosses her doorway. Wearing heavy boots he doesn't bother to take off, he sits down at the edge of the bed looking at her hungrily.

The room is dark, but the moonlight finds Regina, leaving her vulnerable in the light. Although Regina cannot see her husband well enough, she can make out that expectant look on his face. She can feel her magic boil inside her, like acid in her stomach. She is different this time. In only a few weeks time she has conjured more magic than she ever did in years of studying and training. She knew this would soon come and she had prepared.

The magic is in her fingers, she reminds herself. She pictures it in her mind, a slow and painful passing, and simple to create with magic. She imagines the King's clothes becoming too tight around his bloated waist and his thick neck. Until he can no longer breathe and until he can never touch her again.

But the magic in her fingers is black, and the man's clothes stay tailored while hers are loosened at each stitch on her corset and fall engorged to the floor. She stands naked before the man she failed to kill. She cannot not move, her fear is overriding the anger she has worked hard to cultivate.

King Leopold becomes quickly impatient by the still beauty that stands motionless in the moonlight. He takes to his feet, and with heavy thuds approaches his bride. He kicks away the clothes that pool at their feet and pulls roughly on the woman. He brings her closer with his mouth that tears at the side of her neck alternating between bites and kisses.

The King is hungry, and tired. Regina stands rigidly even as his weight pulls on her. Although she has not forgotten how her seeming disinterest can affect the night she cannot bring herself to reciprocate is advance. He pushes her to the wall. His body against hers feels like if a fever fighting to get inside of her, and quickly it is, and it sets fire to her.

The knock on the door feels like the being tossed into a tub of cold water and ice. Even though Regina is burning up, she wants desperately to escape. She rather the flames than whatever might be left inside of her to burn out. Leopold continues despite of the knock, even as it pounds again.

At the third insistent knock, the King is exhausted. He readjusts himself and retires. Regina hears him exchange a word with whoever was inquiring for the Queen at the late hour, and then finally the stomps of the boots move far away. The Queen rushes into her bed, pulling the covers over her body, glad to have not had to share them with her husband.

"Your Majesty?" A voice calls into the dark room. Regina is too broken to feel the anger that would ordinarily in vigor her. She sits up and looks towards the Princess, who looks so fair and pale in the moonlight. Snow White feels the eyes upon her even though she cannot connect with them in the darkness. She knows they are there, in the shadows.


End file.
